Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
