I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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