I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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