Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
