The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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