then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
