My pussy is not your playground.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
