im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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