Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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