you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
