so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
