1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm like, not good at living.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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