What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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