okay pat passed out under dana's car
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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