Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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