another moral hangover. fuck.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
