I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
