Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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