escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Semen is not good for contacts.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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