He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
