apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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