I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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