Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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