Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
