my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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