ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
