Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize