how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
