and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
