Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
