ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I enjoy the company of your penis
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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