i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
