I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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