8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
