we have officially lost it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
