no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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