I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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