I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
