...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I could teleport
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
