I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
