I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
