I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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