Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
