i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
