I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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