Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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