Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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