i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My dick has a subreddit
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dear god my vagina.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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