I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
