I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
