"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize