You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
