Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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