I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
