so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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